A Special Invitation

For many years
I have held
a special invitation
to speak with You
in the pre-dawn
absence of light
as the stars
watch me beg 
You for help
every night 
I stand and ask
for every need and desire 
that comes to mind
But today 
by the light outside my window
I know I’ve missed
my time with You

Sunrise encroaches
as pink and orange hues
paint a sky
I’m unfamiliar with
I’m used to meeting You
in the dark of night
I’ve missed the silence, 
the black sky, 
the sparkling stars
I miss knowing
no one heard me 
but You

I now feel incomplete
having started a day
without our meeting
My head to the ground 
I beg Your forgiveness
for I am nothing 
without You

Once,
waking up was easy
Now, 
my invitation lays crumpled
under the weight of sleep
In the shadows of my room
evil hides
pouring into the corners 
of my heart 
crowding my mind 
they keep me
from You

Please forgive me
Ya Ghuffoor
I have let you down
once again
You called me to rise
to meet You 
during the nighttide
just to discuss 
how the day might go

Instead, I failed
ignored Your call
I’m now leaden with guilt
having sullied the honor
You once bestowed 
upon me

I watch the light 
seeping in
contradicting the darkness 
in my heart
With immense effort
I leave my bed 
its deceptive comfort
replaced with remorse 
All I ask 
is You invite me back 
another night
to connect with You