All Matters Come in Pairs

ACT I: ANGER

How ironic 

(Losing me for you, just to lose you too)

Learning from my “maybes”, “ifs” & “buts”

Learning to let go

and to not go crazy.

When my feelings overwhelm me

I feel it

not heal it.

Save for a few heartaches

my scars are finally healing.

I’m learning to allow myself to shine

When my blanket of lies

no longer conceal me.

I am learning to trust myself.

To express me.

I held too strongly to the views of others

that I lost who I was known as.

Made me turn into a blank space 

for your artwork.

So you can paint me in your dark colors,

while my canvas was always bright.

I have so much to learn 

even when I have less to give.

I have yet to reach that chapter

but at least I’m learning to be better for me

and not for you. 

ACT II: REGRET

How the tables have turned 
(My turn to apologise)

While drowning in your sins 

all I found was mine. 

Even when I was good with words 

all I found was cries. 

It became clear what I had to do

apologies to me, 

and apologies to you. 

I can’t force feed you, 

nor can I heal you. 

Instead I will keep quiet, 

holding onto better days. 

The hope of making it, 

in ways I couldn’t today. 

When I’m six feet under 

what will I say? 

That I was too focused on your faults?

Forgetting all about my mistakes.

You called me an angel so many times

I almost forget I’m human. 

Made me lose my shame 

made us be the same. 

We turned out not that different after all.