Dear younger me,
Reverting to Islam is one of the most life-changing decisions you ever made for yourself. Remember ten months ago—you were sitting in a hospital room, wondering where your life would go after wanting to commit suicide. You voiced so much frustration about your life, and vowed to yourself that the day you walked out of that hospital, you would take those necessary steps to better your life.
Now, having passed five years as a Muslim, I write to you having gained a lot of knowledge and advice along the way and across my journey. To this day, I am still learning, which is perfectly fine as Islam promotes lifelong learning, but here I give you five pieces of advice I want to calm your nerves and help ease you into reverting. Here’s what I wish I had known before:
1. Expect to lose some friends, maybe some family members, but also expect to gain some new ones.
Reverting to a new religion comes with sacrifices, which means losing some friends who do not agree with your choice, and even some family members, too. It is hard to face this reality, but it comes with making this change for yourself. Some may accept your decision, but regardless, you will be gaining new friends along the way—through community events, being involved in the masjid, the MSA, and any opportunities that arise, you will be able to find your people.
2. Community is everything. Make an effort to be as involved as possible.
It may feel awkward and scary to make your presence known in a new community, but trust me, it will take so much weight off of your shoulders with the right people in your corner. It may feel safer and more comfortable to be alone, but isolation will only make things harder in times of need. It is important to attend events with other reverts, make an effort to meet new people in the MSA, and don’t be afraid to ask for help in group chats or introduce yourself to other reverts in the area.
3. Easier said than done, but don’t be too hard on yourself.
When stepping into something new, there is always this expectation to be perfect, and when you aren’t, you feel like this big hypocrite, and you feel like you’re not good enough. The harder we are on ourselves to be perfect, feeling we need to be at a certain point, the more we detach ourselves from what we need to do. Putting this unnecessary pressure on yourself will only further make it harder for growth, because when those mistakes come up, it is easier to become discouraged. What I have learned is that growth isn’t linear. Take small baby steps, and if you make a mistake, it is all right, because Allah sees our effort and that is all that matters.
4. Get your information from reliable, authentic sources and Imams.
With everyone getting their information and news from social media nowadays, it is easier to get a lot of misinformation, including about religion. It can also be overwhelming getting confusing material from people who claim to be scholars, but have no backing, or just by searching online. While searching online is okay for the basics, it is important to go to reliable sources, like Imams, or to get information on what is haram or halal, from authentic sources. This will save you a lot of headaches when it comes to getting the answers to questions you may have.
5. Islam doesn’t change your identity, it will refine it.
You will have people ask you from time to time “Have you considered changing your name?” Their feeling is that you have to completely change who you are because you are Muslim. Let me set the record straight—you can still be who you want to be without needing to erase your identity. Your personality, your pursuits of a certain degree you want, or any aspect of you, does not need to go away. If you let Islam stifle you, it will be harder to embrace it. Let Islam be the thing that guides you to become a better person everyday, while still being who you want to be—not what others want you to be.
To end this, I will be honest—you will struggle. There will be times you might question whether you made the right decision. However, remember that every struggle, every challenge, and every hurdle that you come to, Allah will see your effort, and reward you greatly. You might come across times where you lose some people in your life that were important to you, but it is important to understand the growth you will experience, and how at peace you will become, will be priceless, and cannot be taken away from you.
In five years, you are going to think to yourself that this wasn’t just a “phase you were going through,” but something you took seriously and genuinely wanted to embrace for the rest of your life. You will look back at everything you did and think how far you came, because you focused on progress, not perfection.
One last thing, with every hardship and every down moment, know that Allah hears you, Allah is with you, and Allah will be there, always.
With love,
Your Future Self
