Grief in Motion

aching soul,

restless,

mind never quite at ease

grief takes its home

in between

the flesh

of my ribs

there it stays,

lodged

and unmoving

like a pebble in the sole of the shoe

it never truly leaves

never lets my soul breathe

or even come up for air

it moves within me

like an ocean with a million currents

the waves constantly crashing at the shore

where all of life’s tragedies

come to surface

once more

where the vastness of these pains

travels across miles

flower fields of beauty

yet the sorrows stem deep

within the roots

they grow and grow

yet nobody sees them

nobody dares to touch the soil of one’s anguish

they remain afraid of muddying their hands

how repulsive this grief must be

how sickly of a creature I have become

and I continue to loathe in this mess,

uncertain of each step

every breath

the words stuck on the tip of my tongue

daring to spill out,

daring to tell anyone just how I feel

the burning desire

to be understood

the words stuck on the tip of my tongue

a fiery rage in my chest

and I now watch

in utter horror

as my own two hands

lead to my demise

the blade is at my throat,

threatening to cut

scar

damage

make me lose my breath

and choke on every emotion suppressed

here I stand

in the valleys of my grief

here I shall stay

in the pits of my despair

and for the sake of my sanity,

my head hits the floor

to speak to the Almighty above

in hopes He shall listen to me implore