I watch the sun blink goodbye
just in a matter of moments
This bright orange sphere
the-center-of-attention-of-the-entire-universe
it slowly descends into the earth
leaving only its ripple of orangepinkyellow
scattered across the darkening blue sky
Just like that—it has been submerged
fully encompassed within the vast earth
and I am left gasping for breath
once again
create
your
own
calm
once again
the colors have left you
the shadows are upon you
threatening to disassemble
every ounce of certainty
you have created
perhaps it is meant to be this way
Darkness arrives to claim its time
the façade of hope cannot remain
Forever
It is a fickle thing—hope
especially
especially when
it is manufactured
within your factory of heart and mind
create your own calm
perhaps-it-is-meant-to-be-this-way
An existence that thrives in chaos
caused by an upbringing of mayhem
whatareyoutodo
when your giants-of-parents
fall
sick
rightinfrontofyoureyes
A healer—A caregiver
justascareddaughter
A breath escapes me—
Unaware it was being held within
Funny how that works isn’t it
My body
doesn’t know a reality except
Go
it-was-not-supposed-to-be-this-way
the ball of grief wells enormously within
almost escapes through tears
until it is repressed
once again
Sometimes the setting of the sun
stuns this tired body into breathing
With every breath as a gift
And not just for survival
I wave goodbye
to the giant ball of fire
forever grateful for it igniting
hope within my
traumatized
soul
2 Comments
Ya Allah! Nimra what a stunning and moving piece! The shape of the poem is so creative and beautiful.. and the message is so vulnerable… thank you for sharing with us. May Allah bless you and your family and make a swift way of healing for your parents ya Rabb.
Ameen ya Rabb! Thank you Sundus, your feedback always means so much :)